Day 1 (Again)

>> Thursday, April 26, 2012

How's eating zero sugar going, Ashley? I've been quiet about it. I'm sure some of you are wondering. For a while, four whole days, in fact, it was fine. I had no desire to bake cookies at 9PM. Then I had a minor setback, but picked up the very next day. Then another setback. Then I was back on again.

And today. Well, today I definitely cemented my status as an emotional eater. Ada's been really cranky -- crying and whining almost all her waking hours -- and I haven't had many opportunities this past week to get a break from it all. Even when I am able to get away, I tend to have trouble letting myself relax because she's not a happy camper with sitters, even when they are her own grandparents. (She cries so much she starts choking. It's terrible! I feel like I hear her even when we're miles upon miles away.)

Plus, the only person she'll take a bottle from is this guy:

I'm not writing to complain about Ada. She's obviously going through some teething or a new developmental milestone. Or general 5-month-old crankiness is more like it, I'm sure. She's allowed. Still, it's wearing on me. And it's why I found myself baking brownies (this recipe) on a Thursday afternoon instead of fixing a healthy lunch.

What can I say? Baking is my release. Eating is, uhhh, the icing on the cakes . . . that I make?

Don't forget the peanut butter frosting!

(1 cup smooth peanut butter + 1 tablespoon olive oil + 2/3 cup (or more) confectioners' sugar)

Obviously, the recipes aren't my focus with this post. What I wanted to share was something I'm proud of. But first: GOMI. It's rare that (never home)maker makes an appearance over there. Actually, I'm quite flattered that people are reading . . . and, as many of you know, I welcome constructive criticism and like to respond. Anyway, I thought I'd respond directly to a few comments I read regarding my sugar issues and decision to blog about them.

1.) On this sugar-thing being an insincere and pathetic cry for attention. I'm not that calculated or desperate enough for blog fodder. It's something I've genuinely struggled with for a long while and seems to have reached such great heights -- 10,000 times worse -- since I started breastfeeding. (never home)maker is a healthy living blog, so -- naturally -- I decided to share it here with like-minded people who could perhaps help me.
2.) I'm really looking for some help with this one, where a poster said in so many words that I should grow up and simply put the sugar down. Please tell me how that's so easily done! I'm serious! I'd absolutely love a quick fix. For me, it's not that cerebral. I also think it has little to do with my mental or physical age. (And what I gather from all my readers' wonderful comments, I don't think it's that easy for most people.)

I digress. I know a lot of you GOMI ladies like cats (as do I), so I'm presenting this photo of Scully as a peace-offering.

Back to what makes me proud! After making this gigantic peanut butter covered piece of sugary deliciousness, I thought for sure I'd want to eat as much of it as I could handle. So, I dove in and grabbed a generous piece. And then something weird happened: I found it difficult to finish. Even now, several hours later, I'm not jumping at the chance to dip my finger in any frosting or cut myself another slice.

Though my non-detox sugar "detox" wasn't 100% successful or pure, s.o.m.e.t.h.i.n.g has changed in me. I seem to have lowered my tolerance just enough that I'm not eating gross amounts. Actually, the thought of eating more overwhelms me with an ick-factor.

As I wrote previously, my goal with lowering my sugar consumption isn't to eradicate it from my diet entirely. So, this small success is a major accomplishment (however far away I may be from my ultimate goal of going longer and staying stronger). I'm back to day 1 again, but it's OK.

Here we go again!

If you're not into the brownie recipe, check out Writing Chapter Three. Today I posted some tofu "meatball" recipe with an awesome saffron-ginger tomato sauce.

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