>> Wednesday, October 8, 2014
When I was younger, I kept waiting for things to fall into place or magically appear as directions I should take. I’d wait for signs from the divine to lead me this way . . . or that way. Any way, really. This isn’t to say crossing into a new decade automatically showed me my life’s purpose. Instead, it brought to my attention the level of participation required of me to create my own destiny.
That last sentence made me think of Lieutenant Dan in Forrest Gump, right? In some ways, I feel like it’d be nice to have a path left by those who came before me. Maybe I’d come from a family of all doctors or lawyers. Or perhaps I’d take over the family farm. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that defining purpose isn’t easy for anyone. My 30s so far have been an exercise in making life happen. In taking charge.
But I’m still searching. From what my older and wiser friends tell me, that feeling never ends. Growth is a series of trials and errors that might never result in getting it all “right” -- but rather than risk doing nothing at all, I’ll take the missteps and small successes as they come. It’s better than doing nothing.
And that’s where the blog falls into all of this. Can you believe I’ve been writing in this space since the fall of 2009? I was just 26 then! I had to look back and see, but there she was. My first post about -- drumroll -- Easy Tofu Marinade. Through the years, my readers have seemingly changed as much as I have. It used to be enough to slap up a recipe with an OK-ish photo and call it a day. Over time, blogging has changed tremendously. The blogosphere is grossly over-saturated with recipes and tutorials and lists, and I contribute my fair share (and will likely continue doing so to some degree).
Along the way, though, I feel I've lost my voice . . . and I’d like to get it back. But it means making myself somewhat vulnerable. I want to start using this space to share my own exploration of identity through food, family, lifestyle, and other things. I’m hoping my fellow introspective souls might find it helpful and interesting. Yeah, I’ll be retaining some of the more practical stuff, too -- like X number of homemade whatevers that get me through the winter months. But I’ll probably pop in with more rambling thoughts and notes on personal growth and the adventures that led me there.
Like, why am I obsessed with homesteading recently? Is it jumping on a fad? Or maybe you’d be surprised to learn that I had this deep yearning in my soul to move back home to the country and it didn’t happen because of jobs. Stupid jobs. And rather than sit and feel depressed about missing out on this life I imagined, I’d like to take charge and create what I can where I’m already planted.
Is this cool? Sometimes when I come across blogs, I get annoyed because so many these days seem like mere content factories. You know the ones, and -- as a blogger -- it’s easy to flow down stream that way. Being real
It might take me a while to find my groove, but I’d like to inject myself back into my words more like I do over on Writing Chapter Three. And -- yes. Eventually I do want to merge the blogs in some meaningful way, but I still find my audience is too separate. Over time, that may change. Or I may figure out a better technical way to do all of this back-end stuff so I don’t lose anything (or my mind) in the process.
Today’s the 1-year anniversary of Ada’s brain surgery, so I guess it has me thinking about life and priorities and my own role in all of it. So, as always, thanks for reading these words. Those of you who have been around for the long haul, it means a lot. I can’t believe we’ve sort of grown up together. And those of you who are new -- keep reading! The topics aren’t changing, just my approach to writing about them.
Happy hump day!
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