>> Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Friends and family, I don’t even know where to begin thanking you for your incredible support after yesterday’s post concerning baby #2. Your personal stories, confidence, and love is completely humbling and so much appreciated. At this point, we are seriously torn and hoping Monday’s appointment will give us resolution either way. It’s the not knowing that hurts the most. I very badly want to be one of those beat-the-odds stories, but I’m also just grounded in reality after everything we’ve been through in the past.
Otherwise, we’re trying to go through the motions of life and keep things normal. A few of you asked if Ada knows what’s going on. We made the mistake of mentioning a baby early on (it took so long to get to that point, I was elated!), but we decided to keep it like “well, the doctor needs to tell us if there’s a baby in mommy’s tummy” -- so that’s what she understands now. She asks often. She’s been amazing, wiping tears from my eyes and cuddling with me during some tough moments. I am trying my best to stay strong and hold myself together for her benefit, though.
It’s Wednesday already, so only five or so days until we know. I think at this point, if things aren’t going to go well, I’m hoping for things to resolve naturally on their own. Like I wrote, I’ve been very sick -- way worse than I was with Ada -- and I’ve read that morning sickness can continue long after a pregnancy isn’t viable. What a cruel joke that would be. I’m honestly a little scared of going through a true miscarriage since my chemical pregnancy was more like a late period. Anyway, only time will give us answers. Thank you so much again for everything.
I’ve had an extremely limited list of foods to go on lately. I’ve been eating Kix cereal like it’s my job. Choking down Siggi’s yogurt for some tart protein. Drinking ginger ale because sometimes it’s the only thing that works (those tiny slim cans are like medicine to me right now). Sorbet bars. It was like overnight I couldn’t eat vegetables anymore, though I’m trying to sip a green smoothies most days of the week.
And I’ve made lots of energy balls. I have a new recipe to share for a “cookie dough” variety, but right now I think I’ll just list the old favorites. I have made all these recipes multiple times. It’s great to have a batch in the refrigerator to grab for easy snacking.
- Chocolate Almond Butter Energy Chunks
- Cookie Dough Balls
- Double-Chocolate Granola-ish Bars
- Nutella Balls
- Cocoa-Hazelnut Energy Chunks
- Maple-Walnut Energy Chunks
- Marathon Chunks
- Chocolate-PB Energy Chunk
- Cacao Energy Chunk
- Runner's World Energy Bars
- Choc-PPB Energy BARS
- Chocolate Chunk Energy Cookies
- Nut Butter Energy Balls
Exercise is going OK-ish. I’ve been really tired and the weather had been so awfully cold (finally nice this week), so I haven’t been running as much as I’d like. And most recently, a good, long walk has felt way better than running or anything else. I’m at this point presently when I could care less about exercise to get fit . . . it’s all mental. I must admit it’s really hard to get so out of shape from my previous levels, but I simply don’t have the energy to spare right now.
I will run half marathons again. Someday.
Week #1: 270 min of exercise
T: 40 min bike
W: 4.2 mile run
R: 4.2 mile run
S: 60 min walk
S: 45 min Barre, 45 min x-country ski
Week #2: 265 min of exercise
T: 30 min bike, 30 min walk
W: 4 mile walk
R: 30 min bike, 30 min Barre
S: 4.7 mile run
S: 4.2 mile run, morning walk
Again, from the bottom of our hearts: THANK YOU.
Whatever happens, it’s so nice to have the support of you all.
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