Flicker of Light

>> Thursday, October 29, 2015

When we arrived at the office for my ultrasound, my heart starting racing. I hadn’t been back to the office since everything with the miscarriage and D&C. But I immediately saw a friendly face. The tech who did all my ultrasounds in the spring was there, and it helped me feel at least somewhat more comfortable. We checked in and waited only a few minutes before getting called into the room.

The tech asked me when I last got my period and calculated my due date (6/26/16). Then I held my breath because I am supposed to be 5 weeks and 4 days today. In the spring, I was also supposed to be exactly this far along, but all we saw was a gestational sack and yolk that measured maybe 5 weeks at best. In the following ultrasounds the dates continued to lag despite eventually finding a heartbeat until one day when the heart just stopped beating.

The minute she placed the probe, we saw the gestational sack and yolk and -- in a blink -- I was able to see a tiny fetal pole. That’s what I had hoped beyond hope I would be able to see today. I couldn't contain myself and started tearing up as I took my first deep breath in hours. The pole measured 5 weeks and 4 days. Not only that -- there was a flicker of light. That’s right! Though it’s e.x.t.r.e.m.e.l.y early, our baby has a heartbeat. We can’t measure it yet, but none of us were expecting to see it this soon.

I met with my fertility doctor after the ultrasound and asked him about a million and one questions.

He told me I’m not considered high risk. I asked if I should see an OB versus a midwife this time along and he said to choose who I wanted, even recommended a midwife and said that since the practice has OBs, that I can ask questions or switch anytime I want. As far as running and other activity, he said I can do any exercise besides horseback riding. No activity has definitively been linked to miscarriage.

While things are still painfully early, this is the best pregnancy I’ve had this year. Everything is looking great and I’m hoping it will continue this trend. We’re taking this one day at a time. I took a super slow two mile jog in celebration. I think I may have even had my very first wave of nausea today. Bring it on. I just wanted to share this quick update. Anything can happen, but this appointment was a huge hurdle I needed to cross.

Thanks for all your encouraging words and kind notes.

They mean to much to me and my family.

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