Avoiding Burnout // A Wish List

As we prepare for the long days of school + XC season + a coaching course Stephen has to take, I've been brainstorming things that would make my life easier. I should also mention that I'm looking to double my own freelancing workload. Some of these things are what I'd consider reasonable wishes. Other things -- or things in combination -- seem like "wouldn't THAT be nice???" But I thought it might be a helpful exercise to share for those of you who feel desperate and can't seem to find a way out.

After years of struggling and suffering/powering through busy/tough times, I've decided that the only way to help my situation when I'm feeling completely over-stretched is to be proactive. I may not get all the things I list here . . . but just saying them out loud helps to acknowledge areas where things are tough. Does this make sense?

(I miss the beginning of summer so much right now!)

More childcare 

Or, I suppose just childcare . . . period. We have never had a babysitter who isn't family. And we don't have family where we live. So, we get dates once every one or two months. Dates are fun and all, but having some semi-regular childcare can also be helpful just in the day-to-day when Stephen is gone so much. I may need that time for work or just for my own sanity.

I don't know how babysitting would look . . . how many hours . . if it would be all or only a couple kids . . . or what. But I'm listing this first and foremost because I've been a parent for 8 years -- a work-from-home mom who, at times, was working nearly 30 hours a week -- without regular or semi-regular babysitting.

Some steps toward this: Eloise will be in preschool W-F from 9-11:30. It's a start. And we did just join our local YMCA for $70 a month. They have childcare hours that I'm hoping to take advantage of if my kids can get used to going.

Help with the house

I love cleaning and organizing. I can get into a good rhythm, too. But now that Eden is mobile and Eloise is in the drawing-on-the-walls, pooping-in-her-underwear, generally making ALL the messes stage, it gets over my head. Especially when I'm home alone for six days a week.

I had inquired about cleaning services a year or so ago and, at the time, they were recommending weekly cleaning. It was too much for our budget. I think twice a month might be better for how much we can spend. So, I'm going to revisit this.

More dedicated work hours

Like I said, I've worked from home freelance writing for eight years now. I've done it without dedicated work time. Without scheduling work hours. I don't know how I've managed. I relied on early mornings and naps mostly. With Ada, it was pretty easy. With adding Eloise, it got much harder but was OK because Ada was in school. Now with Eden, it's nearly impossible.

I've figured out generally how many hours of work time I need each week. I have decided I need to leave the house for at least half of these hours.

More food money

We had always prided ourselves on a super low grocery budget. Like $75 to $100 when it was just the three of us. I also was able to make pretty much everything from scratch because I honestly love cooking and enjoy spending hours toiling in the kitchen. These days, despite my love of food and making food . . . I just CAN'T take the time to assemble all our snack foods from scratch. I know many parents do it -- and some of you have shared how you still do it with several kids -- but I find it impossible with everything else on my plate.

But not making all our own food means buying more convenience foods. I also try to get more fruits and veggies to hand out. It all adds up, somewhat significantly . . . even at Aldi! So, I'm looking to increase our food budget to more like $175 a week, which would include getting, gasp, occasional takeout.

A schedule

I always just wing it with the kids. We have a few activities, but the rest of the time is unstructured. I think I'm going to experiment making a loose schedule -- even if that means that I'm putting things like "play time" or "dinner time" on a schedule. Without structure, I feel aimless and helpless. I may try making each day a theme. Like Monday Moves (do something active -- like going to the park), Tuesday Treats (like baking something with the girls), etc.

Saturday is the hardest, so I may try planning things out in advance (trip to go apple picking, play-dates, certain fall events, etc.) that we'll do each week. Even just writing about the possibility of a schedule makes me feel more empowered.

More me time

I tend to take very little time to myself when our busy seasons gear up. As an introvert, this is VERY bad and leads to mega-burnout. I'm not trying to paint myself as a special snowflake, but constantly being with my kids with no breaks is very hard for me. So, I need to definitely find a way to carve out alone time, even when I don't necessarily have it. That could mean asking Ada to watch over the girls so I can take a brief shower. Or getting in a yoga/breathing session when my kids nap versus working. Or spending time with friends who actually fill up my cup versus empty it (I'm sort of a social introvert. I have certain friends who don't deplete me).

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So, this is my wish list. A lot of it takes extra money, which is always hard. But having these ideas out there may help me come up with ways to make it a reality.

Is there anything you would add to this list? 
Do you share any of my wishes?

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Some Thoughts on Life With Three Kids

I recently asked you guys what you wanted to read about if I ever got the chance to sit down and write. Resoundingly, many of you asked what life is like with three kids. Or -- if you already have three kids -- what our daily schedule is like. Basically, a good number of you want to know what life am I living right now with children who are ages 7.5, 3, and 9 months.

This is way too much to cover in just one post, so today I thought I'd focus on how I don't have myself together. Like, at all. A few of you asked for tips and tricks on how to make life easier or more organized with three. I don't have those answers, and I wish I did. A few months ago, I was able to clean my entire house to the point of it being magazine-worthy. Today, it's a mess. I'm a mess!

Here's what I've come to realize: We all only have so much energy. Only so much time. And we have a gazillion priorities and things that NEED to be done today. If not YESTERDAY. It goes without saying that we cannot do it all, right? In summer, my husband is home from teaching and I feel like we get less done than ever. Our days right now have some semblance of structure . . . but, overall, we're going nowhere and getting very little done.

It drives me insane.

That isn't to say that having time to rest and free ourselves from the hectic pace of life isn't good and worth dwelling in. I'm talented at saying no and freeing up our schedule if I feel like we're doing too much. But there's the great void that you can fall into if you're not careful. I'm a person who thrives on routine. Working from home the last eight years has made it difficult for me to feel a sense of accomplishment. The days all run into the next days. It's maddening at times.

Throwing three kids into the mix of this can make me feel like a failure of a mom. Sure, I'm taking care of basic needs. Sometimes just keeping the kids alive is enough to give myself a big pat on the back. Other times, I feel I fall short in addressing their more complicated needs. Or in just providing opportunities for them to grow and expand their horizons. I'm a big believer in letting kids be bored and not providing tons of planned out activities. However, sometimes I feel like I just use that sentiment as an excuse to be lazy.

I'm at a point of introspection right now. It happens every summer. I take stock of what's going on and I think of ways to improve. Sometimes things stick. Other times, we end up in the same place we were before. My advice to those of you who are looking to make life with three kids easier is not to listen to me. You have to examine your own family. What areas do you feel are going well? Where do you think things are feeling crazy or like they're just not working? What are our family goals? How are we working toward them . . . and how are we working against ourselves?

We're currently discussing these important questions and how to address them. For example, I try to keep activities limited. Ada only does like one major "sport" (gymnastics) at a time. Then she does an informal choir. She doesn't do anything organized or that meets weekly beyond that. If we find something else, like a random weekend class, we'll consider adding it in if things aren't too busy. Resist feeling like you're not providing enough if you just have your child in one activity. I have to remind myself of this, too, because it seems like everyone I know has their kids in something every day of the week. They spend their afternoons, evenings, and weekends shuttling one here and the other there -- quite literally everywhere.

Which brings me to self-care. This is an area I don't do well with at all. It's going to be the topic of my next post. I'm not talking getting manicures and pedicures either. Basic tasks like feeding yourself throughout the day, drinking water, getting sleep when you can, and getting enough exercise are so, so, so important. When we have kids -- especially three or more -- self-care can easily fall by the wayside without us even realizing it. I learned this the hard way, as I've been struggling with a cycle of starve/binge eating . . . and, again, I didn't even realize I was doing it until I took a step back and realized what was going on.

Life with three kids is wonderful at times. At others, it can be chaotic and make you question all your major decisions. It can make you feel insecure and depressed. I wish it were easier. I wish there were more universal tips and tricks that would lend to more simplicity. But as much as the Internet and social media might like us to believe, there's no filter to wash over the tough times and make them prettier to deal with. Hey, at least we're in good company!

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Source List: Storage Containers

A lot of you have asked me where I get all my organization bins, boxes, etc. It's a mix of Target, Walmart, Aldi, IKEA, and Dollar Tree. But because we don't all have these stores in our area, I thought I'd get a source list going of the closest matches I can find online.

Toy Organization

• 20-pack clear storage bins. At just about a dollar a piece, these are great for separating out different toys -- like figures, puzzles, play-doh, etc. We keep extra toys in these all sorted by type and pull them out as needed.
• IKEA Sortera Bins are AMAZING. They may be my all-time favorite. We use them for block storage and for doll clothing and accessories. Very sturdy and stackable.
• Woven Storage Baskets -- helpful for organizing markers, crayons, and other things you want to keep in an open-top container.
• Tall Woven Storage Baskets -- same idea, just a taller option. 
• Chalkboard Labels -- these are reusable and dishwasher safe. You can use them anywhere. I recommend getting a chalk pen/marker versus using chalk.

Clothing Organization

• We use 9-cube organizers instead of dressers for the girls
• Stephen uses a larger 13" 8-cube organizer for his clothing
• It's cheaper to get 10" storage cubes and 13" storage cubes in a big pack online than in the store.
• Ziploc Storage Totes are perfect for storing all my hand-me-down clothing for the girls.

Refrigerator Organization

• Slim Storage Trays -- long a skinny, perfect for cheese sticks, yogurt tubes, and other small snacks.
• Rectangular Storage Trays -- helpful for hummus, guacamole, cheeses, and other medium-sized containers.
• I also find it helpful to buy a bundle of different sized trays that can serve many purposes and be mixed/matched in different spaces. 
• Fridge Storage Bundle -- this includes an egg holder, can holder, and four other trays that fit cup yogurts, fruits and veggies, and other things. I like that these are clear.
• Flexible Storage Baskets -- I use these in my freezer mostly. Great way to organize bags of frozen veggies.

Pantry Organization

• Slim Storage Trays -- long a skinny, perfect for pouches, granola bars, and other snacks.
• Rectangular Storage Trays -- helpful for wider bars, cookies, and snacks.
• I also find it helpful to buy a bundle of different sized trays that can serve many purposes and be mixed/matched in different spaces.
• Woven Storage Trays -- Similar to above, but prettier. I have these in my pantry. 
• Tall Woven Storage Baskets -- same idea, just a taller option. 
• Flip-Lid Containers -- for cereal, chips, pretzels, and decanting other pourable snacks.
• Wide Mouth Ball Jars -- quart (4-cup) size for all bulk items.
• Pre-Printed Labels to keep everything in order. 

The Rest . . . 

• Husky Heavy Duty Storage Shelving. This thing is huge and perfect for all our storage in the garage. We have 16 bins on it. I hear they also sell it at Costco.
• I use these Large Flex Tubs all over the house -- currently in the linen closet to hold all our sheets and towels. We also have one in the garage for dirty bathing suits/towels in our pool area.
• Similarly, these Bendy Bins flex and work well for multi-purposes. I use them for bath toys, Eden's bottles, and storage in Ada's room.
• Dollar Tree Rectangular Bins -- you have to order a multi-color case online or go to the store and hope you can find WHITE or GREY. The BEST.
• Dollar Tree Square Bins -- same idea. Use them anywhere.
• And if I had more money, I'd love to have all wire storage baskets. They are so classic and clean looking.

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Why Minimalism Doesn't Work For Me

Alright, so I definitely do label myself as an "aspiring minimalist" -- but really, that's not really what I mean. I definitely like the basic idea of only owning what you need . . . and living with less . . . and valuing quality over quantity . . . and examining priorities with regard to purchases and stuff in general. I like the aesthetic of a space that is calm and empty aside from the essentials.

And I freaking LOVE the feeling I get after a good purge.

Ohhhhh, yeah. Clear it all out. All of it!

Where my feelings on the subject deviate, I suppose, is when it comes to what I consider the new challenge culture that we live in. The rampant trend of minimalism. The consumerism aspect of it, too (crazy, but it's a thing!).

I'm the first to admit that I'm not high and mighty on this subject. I've tried many, many, many challenges and trials in the last many years. But it's the whole capsule wardrobe -- only owning 10, 25, XX items of clothing. Or getting rid of everything to the point of it being almost too much. Or feeling pressure to buy "the RIGHT" things to make myself feel like a law-abiding minimalist (which is wrong on so many levels, right?).

I think there's this tendency when we as humans get interested in any particular thing to go ALL IN. (Or maybe it's just people who have personality types like mine.) If I don't, I feel like I'm doing a half-assed job of it. Or like I'm setting myself up for failure. Or like I shouldn't even bother. For example, if my kids clothes don't all coordinate or mix-and-match, I'm doing it wrong. If I have too many coffee cups, I've failed. If I hold onto much sentimental (yearbooks, I'm looking at you!), it's ridiculous. Etc.

What am I saying?

OK. I think it's hard not to get caught up in the Keeping Up With The Joneses version of minimalism that's circulating the internet. The closet challenges. The photos of neatly coordinated wooden toys. The clean white sheets and crisp slipcovers. THE IDEA THAT MINIMALISM WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE PERFECT AND EASY. Sorry to yell, but I have found living this way to actually be quite hard work. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. But I'm sure a few of you in the back seats know what I'm talking about.

The thing is, it actually should be easy. That is, if you're doing it right for you.

This last time I purged my house and organized my belongings, I tried very hard to separate out my own needs from the ones that I've drooled over on Instagram feed. The ones that I've read "SHOULD" be how I do things. I've decided that "minimalism" can have a different definition depending on your own family's needs. Maybe that's not technically true, but I'm declaring that you can pick and choose what you want from the concept.

And maybe we don't have to label ourselves at all!

(Wouldn't that be wild?)

Here's what I like:

• Thinking before I buy new things. Taking a bit of time to ponder if I envision that new thing in a donation box in the near future. Or if we might already have something that functions just fine -- it helps me resist filling my cart at Target.
• Being grateful for what we have. This means taking care of our existing stuff -- however mismatched or basic it is -- because we already spent money and energy on it.
• Keeping what we are truly using. Versus just going through closets and drawers and tossing anything that doesn't fit my vision for my life, it's important to evaluate what we truly use. Even if it means keeping something like a gigantic tub of obnoxious plastic blocks because my kids LOVE them and haven't touched the blonde wood ones that were hand-carved and personally blessed by a mythical goddess (no disrespect -- but my kids like the plastic ones).
• Regularly revisiting and purging. It's important to go through every so often to see if there's something that is no longer meeting our needs, that's damaged/broken, or that we can otherwise clear out.

So, I guess it isn't that minimalism doesn't work for me. I am -- instead -- working (very hard) to make a version of minimalism make sense for my own family.

Why bother? Because I truly see the merit in the general concepts. And we have way too much crap. I'm getting there with my own process on my own terms. In my next post on this subject, I'll share what I did differently this time around when it came to purging my house, as well as how I plan to actually make it work in the long run.

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How to Clean Your Kitchen

I wrote recently on Instagram about the radical idea that cleaning my kitchen is a form of self-care. To me, this was kind of embarrassing and even seemed a bit silly. Cleaning. Self care? Seriously? I'm not a neat or tidy person by nature, so getting fire under my behind with organizing my house has been difficult. What I've found is a sense of serenity when thing are in order. And it's this feeling that seems to be filling me up with good vibes, even when everything else in my life seems a bit out of control.

So, I figured I'd share the quick things I'm doing each day to keep this particular space shiny and fresh. Now that I've got a system going, cleaning the kitchen when it's super messy/dirty only takes 10 minutes or so. And that includes getting dishes going AND steaming the floors.

What? I steam the floors? YES, and it's the best feeling ever.

Start with the 5-minute rule

I didn't invent the concept that you should do tasks that take just 5 minutes instead of letting them pile up. But now I'm the biggest cheerleader to this way of living life. Previously, I'd wait on the dishes and counters. They'd get beyond my ability to see the light. And I would feel like cleaning was a hopeless endeavor.

Things that only take 5 minutes or less:

• Putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher and pushing START
• Putting everything on the counters in the "right" home
• Wiping down the counters and appliances
• Vacuuming and steaming the floors (really! 5 minutes!)
• Tidying open shelving and dusting containers
• Taking out the garbage and putting a new bag in the can

Get the right tool and supplies

I use eCloth microfiber cleaning cloths on all surfaces. The company claims you can clean using only water, but I usually use some kind of spray. The advantage with these types of cloths is that they really seem to wipe up well.

I'm also a sucker for pretty and good-smelling cleaning supplies. I've recently become obsessed with anything Method -- especially the Sea Salt and Lime All-Purpose Spray. Their Stainless Steel Spray has also given me life. It's not that vinegar doesn't work. But to get inspired to clean, I needed something a bit flashy, if you will.

And my favorite floor cleaning supplies include my Bissell PowerFresh Steam Mop and Shark Stick Vacuum. Again, you only need to use the steam to clean floors, but the Method Spearmint/Sage Floor Cleaner is divine.

Decant your groceries

This is an idea I got from Erica Flock (who, in turn, got it from another blogger). My pantry tends to be this black hole of craziness. The simple act of pouring my snacks and other foods into clear containers allows me to see how much is left, what exactly we have, and it keeps garbage from piling up. I can't tell you how many times I'd clean the pantry and have like two gigantic bags of trash/recycling to contend with.

Then all you need are flip-top containers. Try getting a set of clear containers that offers different size options, like this set of EAGMAK Food Storage Containers. Another favorite are the tiny containers that have flip-tops you can find at the Dollar Tree. They're similar to the smallest container in this awesome 10-piece Food Pantry Container set. In fact, I think those are the same exact containers I found at my dollar store. 10 pieces for $15.

I also use open baskets to separate out things like applesauces, granola bars, and instant oatmeal. And my bamboo bread box is my new favorite thing.

Clear out pantries and refrigerator weekly

Overwhelming, right? Stay with me.

Once you do an initial purge and start decanting, this step is very easy. When I do my meal planning for the week (or when I simply take a look at what we have before making a mad dash to the store), get rid of anything that is either past its prime (yogurt, I'm looking at you!) or that you don't think you'll ever use.

Example: We're not a pasta-eating family. My mother-in-law kindly gave us a gigantic bulk box of edamame pasta. It was sitting and taking up tons of space for months -- and we're just not going to use it. Stuff like that can go to a food pantry or even a friend.

When you clear stuff out, there's more space for the stuff you use OR there's just more space for your things to breathe.

Move stuff around

You need to make your cabinets work for you. Efficiency is key if you want to keep your kitchen clean and you want to do it FAST. If you don't have specific homes for everything, it's hard to unload the dishwasher in a timely manner. If you have some food in this cabinet and similar food in another cabinet across the room, it's hard to figure out where to put stuff.

Spend some time really mapping out your ideal zones.

Examples:

• We have a pantry where all the non-perishable food goes. 
• We have a coffee/tea bar on the counter and right above it, I have the coffee/tea stored away along with Eden's formula (the bottle warmer is right there) and bottles. 
• I have glass food storage in one drawer and in the drawer beside it are the lids. Separating them made everything so much easier.
• I have a whole drawer that's down low dedicated to our kid dishes. This allows me to store all the stuff together AND gives my kids some independence.

Think about non-kitchen items

If things are living in your kitchen that don't belong in your kitchen, take them out and distribute to where they belong. It's that simple. Alternatively, if you regularly do non-kitchen things in your kitchen, consider making a special home for those things.

Example: I always do my girls' hair at the kitchen island. So, I now have a little bin of all their hair supplies (hair ties, bows, combs/brushes, detangler) right above the refrigerator. That way, I don't have all that stuff scattered on my countertops.

While you're at it, embrace the junk drawer. It's OK to have a junk drawer. I just polled my Instagram followers and 86 percent of people shared that they have this chaotic space. I recently went to the dollar store and purchased some organizing containers (similar to these) so we can at least categorize the junk. This has been especially helpful for charging cords and batteries. 

Reevaluate your stuff

We had beautiful Fiestaware dishes that we got for our wedding. I did hold onto some pieces, but they were bulky and heavy and annoying to deal with on the daily. So, I replaced them with simple white Corelle Dishes. They are super lightweight, they stack nicely in the dishwasher, and they take up very little space in our cupboard.

We use Ball Jars for food storage and drinking glasses. This is one of the best switches we've made because they can be used interchangeably to suit our needs.

If you aren't using certain appliances much, store them away or get rid of them. I actually don't use my KitchenAid mixer much anymore. I have it stored away in a lower cabinet and pull it out maybe twice a month.

BONUS: When you remove appliances from the countertops, they're easier to clean. (And there's less stuff to wipe down in general.)

Stay on top of it

Once you make some changes, just stay on top of cleaning. That sounds easier said than done, but once you get things organized and start doing 5-minute tasks . . . the momentum starts. And some of those quick tasks become even quicker. Before you know it, you'll be cleaning your entire kitchen in just 10 minutes.

Bigger jobs can come at your convenience. But do them regularly!

For example, I clean the stovetop once a week . . . and it actually only takes 5 minutes but is a bit harder because I have to remove all the grates. I used to just not clean it . . . and then everything would get burned onto the top and take FOREVER.

I try to deep clean the refrigerator monthly. That may not seem like a lot, but I used to only do it maybe twice a year. In fact, that's on my list of things to do this weekend. Monthly makes those stuck-on messes a bit easier to lift.

Anyway, these are some basics that have helped me transform the way I deal with our messy kitchen. I hope you find them helpful. If you have anything to share, please leave it in the comments!

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Where'd You Get . . . ?

I get lots of questions about where we get this or that. I figured I'd create a running list of the things we own. If you don't find what you're looking for -- shoot me a message on Instagram, and I'll try to get it up here ASAP.

HOME ORGANIZATION 

• Here's a whole post with a source list for different storage containers we use in all areas of the house.
• Hall Tree + Bench -- I get so many questions on this. It's finally back in stock.
• Alternative Hall Tree -- this is the other one I almost bought 
• 9-cube Organizer -- we use as our kids' dressers
• 3-cube Storage Bench -- we have 4 total as a long "built-in" in the living room
• Mini Woven Market Baskets -- used as Easter baskets but now corral things in the kids' rooms
• Ziploc Flexible Totes -- for my kid clothing storage
• 13" Cube Organizers (Toy Storage -- we have a 2x3, 2x4, and 2x1 in both rustic grey and white)

KITCHEN STUFF

• Bamboo Bread Box
• Rechargeable Under Cabinet Lights (cordless -- 3-pack)
• D-C Fix Grey Marble Contact Paper (countertops)
• Large Pre-Seasoned Cast Iron Skillet -- only $15! Use it every day!
• Kitchen Stools -- set of 4 counter-height in bronzed black
• Cuisinart Smart Stick Immersion Blender
• Grass Drying Mat
• Instant Pot DUO 6-quart
• Vegan Instant Pot Cookbook
• Vegetarian Indian Cooking in the Instant Pot Cookbook
• Oh She Glows Cookbook
• Oh She Glows Everyday Cookbook 

LESS WASTE

• Wide Mouth Ball Jars -- all sizes for food storage and drinking glasses
• Reusable Wide Mouth Lids
• Reusable Bowl Covers
• Beeswax Food Wrap
• How to DIY beeswax food wrap, too!
• Mason Jar Silicone Drink Tops
• Mason Jar Silicone Sleeves
• We prefer silicone straws to metal or glass
• Yumbox Kids Lunchbox
• Stasher Silicone Bags
• Planet Wise Snack Bags
• Silpat Baking Mat

RANDOM HOUSE STUFF

• Amazon Basics Thermal Laminator
• Buffalo Check Curtains -- in our basement bathroom
• Wireless Remote Outlet Control Kit 3-pack
• Blackout Shades

STOCK TANK POOL

• The process is documented here
• 10 ft stock tank from Farm Supply
• Intex Krystal Clear 1,000 GPH pump
• KemTek 1-inch chlorine tabs
• Chlorine floater
• Ideas for 10 ft pool covers -- we're getting a solar one

A great option if you don't want to buy a large stock tank is this BestWay kid pool. It's 22" deep and it's what we used for two summers before installing the stock tank. It is only $70 and is a very similar experience! We used the same pool maintenance stuff.

BREAD BAKING

• Taylor Digital Kitchen Scale
• Wooden Proofing Basket
• Bread Lame
• J.A. Henckels Bread Knife -- so sharp, be careful!
• Bob's Red Mill Artisan Bread Flour

CLEANING TOOLS

• Bissell PowerFresh Steam Mop
• Shark Ultra-Light Stick Vacuum (corded)
• E-cloth microfiber cleaning cloths

CLEANING PRODUCTS

• I do use my own vinegar cleaners
• I prefer Method products and Seventh Generation products when I buy stuff either online or locally. In particular, Seventh Generation has a great EWG rating. I've been using their stuff since college.

KID THINGS

• Guidecraft Folding Kitchen Helper Stand
• OXO Tot Sprout High Chair
• Woolino OS Merino Sleep sack -- (2mo-24mo) Eden's sleep sack -- has gone through three kids
• CastleWare OS Organic Sleep Bag -- (16mo-3T) Eloise's sleep sack -- has feet free
• Elmo Training Pants
• Daniel Tiger Underwear
• Oh, Crap Potty Training Book
• AXVUE 2-Camera Video Monitor
• Baby Bjorn Bouncer -- hands down my favorite thing
• Ergo 360 Baby Carrier
• BOB Revolution Duallie Double Jogger -- buy used if possible
• Kanken Classic Backpack -- my diaper bag
• Avent Glass Bottles -- Eden's bottles

PERSONAL CARE

• Wegreeco Bamboo Cloth Pads -- regular
• Wegreeco Bamboo Cloth Pads -- large
• FLEX Menstrual Cup -- finally found one that works for me

VAN STUFF

• Car Seat Protectors, 2-pack
• Motor Trend Beige Car Floor Mats -- cargo

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Kitchen Refresh for $325

I've been sharing bits and pieces of home stuff over on Instagram and many of you were asking for more details on what we've done and what we've used to refresh our kitchen. First, let's start with a little history.

Here's our kitchen when we moved into our house almost five years ago:

After a little while, I painted the backsplash and then the cabinets.

So, this is essentially how the kitchen looked until recently:

And here's how it looks now -- almost finished:

COUNTERS

We used contact paper. Yes, contact paper -- specifically DC-Fix Grey Marble -- to give our countertops a new look. I was a as skeptical as you might be, but after watching countless YouTube tutorials (search "contact paper countertops") and reading (and hearing from some of you) how they actually do hold up . . . I figured the low cost of the materials might be worth giving it a try.

Basically, you clean your counters very well and make sure there aren't any rogue pieces of dust before starting in one corner and slowly applying the contact paper like a sticker. You push any air bubbles out as you go. The videos I watched made it seem super easy but there's definitely a learning curve and I did waste an entire roll because we messed up.

Corners are especially tricky.

I'm still glad I did it because the end result is gorgeous!

Note: I personally chose the width of 26" because it allowed me to have the fewest seams and install the contact paper horizontally versus vertically. That said, installing it in larger pieces is significantly harder!

I used three rolls total for a cost of around $40. But I did mess up, so the total project ended up costing $53. We also had to use some white caulk to help streamline the edges. Much less expensive and less wasteful than replacing perfectly functioning countertops.

Oh, and if you don't like these -- the company also makes other colors, including this Brown Marble, Black Marble, White + Black Marble, different faux granite finishes, etc.

BACKSPLASH

I had planned to try wrapping the backsplash in the contact paper as well. A friend suggested I try using self-adhesive backsplash panels from Home Depot. The only problem is that for four tiles, it was $26! I put this idea on the back burner . . . and then was happy to see that they were on sale for $16. I ended up spending $200 on this part.

The sale is no longer going on but I have since found a very similar product on Amazon -- Subway STICKTILES -- that I actually think I may have liked better because it has darker "grout" lines and is currently $20 for four but there's also a $2 coupon you can apply at checkout, making it $18/4-pack. There are a variety of colors and shapes of adhesive tiles, too. I personally love this Modern Grey variation, though it wouldn't have matched out kitchen.

As for installation, it went up so quickly. Just cut with normal scissors and stick on like a puzzle. Even the corners and funky areas were very quick to cover over. I would say that I did this project by myself in an hour and a half. It is holding up nicely and as such a nice sheen like real tile. Not bad because it went over the old stuff. Almost zero prep-work was needed!

CABINETS

We still have the same old cabinets as always. I painted them white at one point a few years ago. If you want to read more about that, check out this post. Once we changed the backsplash and the counters, the kitchen was just TOO white for Stephen's taste. I actually thought it was fine, but he wanted to get more depth in there. So, I decided to paint the lower cabinets. Not sure if that's still a style people like . . . but I like it. found some great paint at my local craft store -- Americana Decor Stain Enamel paint in Grey/Taupe.

I considered working with chalk paint, but this stuff is self-sealing, so it didn't require wax or any other coat to finish. This stuff must be quite popular because it was nearly out at my store and I did have to buy more online. The other color I considered was a bit darker, Smoke Grey. I wish they had had a color in the middle. I thought about mixing the two but then got impatient!

I'll do before/after photos when we have completely finished painting. I only need two containers to paint the lower cabinets. I got the first one at Michael's with a half-off coupon for $5 and purchased one online for $10 (they were't getting anymore in the store soon). Total cost was $15.

HARDWARE + LIGHTS

Last, we decided to change out the hardware on part of the cabinets because I've always loved the farmhouse look. Our hardware looks black, but it's actually bronze. So, I picked up 15 of these Amerock Bronze Cup Pulls for a cost of $30. I only needed 14, so I used the last one up in our bathroom. I love them!

We also added six wireless under cabinet lights -- Moston Magnetic Under Cabinet Lights. I got two 3-packs (set me back $40 because they were on sale) and I don't regret getting so many. I'm obsessed with these guys because they charge via USB and can even be motion-activated. I use them daily for several hours and they only need to be juiced up once a week.

Here's the difference.

It's less noticeable in these photos than in person. It makes a huge impact in our really dark kitchen even in the daylight to have these on. Installation was super easy, too. You just install a magnetic plate where you want them with sticky tabs (all provided). Then the actual light sticks up there, again, magnetically.

Anyway, I hope these notes are helpful to you! I think a lot of this stuff is also renter-friendly. For a total cost of $325, I think the changes are quite dramatic and worthwhile. BTW: I did mess up on the contact paper, and that meant I had to rip it up. The formica underneath was completely fine after doing so.

I'll get more beauty shots when the entire kitchen is completely painted and styled! For more of my home improvement-related posts, click here.

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No Spend Month

So, I lost my debit card this weekend. The last I remember, I went to a local drug store to buy toilet paper. I was carrying out the package without a bag, and I think I slipped my card into my pocket instead of my wallet. Everyone was screaming at home, so I was admittedly a bit preoccupied. Regardless, somewhere in the quarter mile drive home, it was lost. But I didn't realize it until the next day.

I ran 8 miles on a local path Sunday. (GO ME!) The path happens to have parking near Home Goods. I stopped in to look at some throw pillows, found a few I wanted, and got to the checkout . . . only to realize my card was gone.

Blessing in disguise? Maybe.

When I got home, I frantically searched all over and didn't find the card. I called the store where I last used the card. No card. I called the gym near the store. No card. The donut shop. No card. We canceled it immediately. No weird activity was noted in our bank account, which is a good thing. (But I still feel creeped out.) My new card should be here in about a week. This is a boring story, no? BUT there's tremendous good that has come out of it.

I pull out my card without abandon -- all the freaking time. I spend money on the dumbest things (stupid Instagram SWIPE UPPPPP, GUYZ!). We spend way too much money on food after bringing Eden home this fall. Money here, money there, money everywhere. Losing my card made me stop and think about my spending habits. How they need some MAJOR change.

Yesterday afternoon as I lay on the floor sore from my run, I decided that March would be a no spend month (as much as possible). Meaning, no extra food outside the budget. No random toys for the kids. No random thrift store adventures for me. No books (library!). No candy (rots your teeth!). No whatever else we spend on (#allthethings). The only exception might be going to the movies because we have a $1 cinema close to our house, and I'd say that's a damned good deal for some family entertainment.

OK. But on top of this, I'm trying to whip the budget back into shape. The area we can focus on for the most improvement is groceries. To start things out right, I'm going to try to spend as little on groceries this week as possible. I want to USE UP all this random food we have hiding in the pantry and in the freezer.

Meal plan:

Breakfasts of either eggs, oatmeal, or smoothies.

Lunches using that random tub of applesauce in the cupboard, homemade granola bars, awesome bread we have in the freezer (pumpkin spice!), cheese sticks + yogurt we seem to have in bulk, or dinner leftovers.

Dinners:

• M: Frozen veggie burgers with fries (adults) // Mac and cheese + peas (kids)
• T: Tofu stir-fry using frozen veggies, Aldi sauce, and some frozen beet noodles
• W: Lentil soup with sourdough bread
• R: That random frozen lasagne I bought when I was immensely pregnant and hormonal
• F: Pizza night
• S: In-laws are visiting. Not sure yet.
• S: Frozen chili from the bag meals I made in September

Anyone else trying to readjust spending habits or their budget right now? Tell me your tricks! It's actually quite fun and exciting. We are also having our taxes done, so I always get nervous about if we'll owe money or if we'll get a return (usually we owe). I made only half of what I've made in previous years due to being sick and then taking off several months after having Eden.

PS: For those of you following along for quite some time, Stephen and I have less than $7K left on our student loan debt (together). That's tremendous! We started out at over $70K!

Image source

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Word Vomit

I'm sharing this post quickly as I wait for a swaddle sack to dry (yes, we only have one!) . . . and it's not drying fast enough for this nap to happen when it needs to. Eden also has a very RSV-like cough, runny nose, and general blah. Eloise woke today at 5AM having soaked through her pajamas, sleep sack, and -- worst of all -- llama love. So, that's all in the wash, too. But now that I'm a seasoned pro mom (ha!), I know to keep an extra llama on hand to make a bait-and-switch.

My life, you guys.

This is my life right now.

I love it. But, C'mon. LOL.

I started back working in January. All I can handle right now is about one article each week. It feels good to be writing professionally (read: making money) again. But until things iron out with sleep and winter sickness, I can't see doing any more than that. I fit it in on weekends and on snow days, mostly. I've learned to use the 5AM-7AM window as my sacred time. And I am also too fried to read scholarly journals early in the AM. The brain power will come back, I'm sure.

I also feel very much 35, if not older, lately. I somehow tweaked my neck while nursing Eden in bed and have been basically immobilized the last three days. This means I haven't been running or walking or even looking over my right shoulder. Thankfully it's getting a bit better. But, wow. The things we take for granted.

Where I'm a powerhouse lately is with making food for our family. Our slow cooker is getting more workouts than I am. Usually soups. Split pea, lentil, butternut squash, pumpkin chili, etc. I make absolutely divine loaves of homemade sourdough to accompany. GUESS WHAT! I've cracked the sourdough code. I can now make bread that tastes better and has better texture than what I get at Wegmans. The secret (at least for me) was all in using Bob's Red Mill artisan flour (Yes. I bought this 4-pack because I can't find it anywhere near me and I go through one bag every two weeks). It transformed my starter overnight.

Eden turns four months old next week. We're definitely in some sort of shift. I wouldn't say we've totally hit the big sleep regression yet, but we've had some rocky naps and nights. She's certainly a full-on baby by now. No more newborn stuff. And that means I'm slowly getting rid of everything I've been holding onto for the last eight years. It's all the feels. But I am also very much feeling like I'm ready to move along fully to the next stage of life.

Example: We have friends who go on weekend getaways with their school-aged kids. And we're like: "I'm jealous!" Same kind of trip would be hell for us right now. In a few years, it won't be so bad.

I forget if I mentioned it on here, but we have a brief and torrid love affair with a house a month or so ago. We wanted it SO BADLY we could cry. But other people beat us to it. It's officially pending and not going to be ours. But you know when you sit for days and imagine your kids getting married in the backyard? Has that ever happened to you? It did for us. Sigh. As a consolation, we decided to purchase a brand new gas range. It'll be delivered Saturday. It will look pretty in our kitchen and allow me to bake better bread so I can continue to eat my feelings.

I'm kidding. Sort of. Not really.

I've been struggling with emotional eating and winter eating and boredom eating. I'm not good with the concept of diets. And intuitive eating puzzles me. As someone who is recovering from an eating disorder (I will always be recovering. It's like anything else.), I have trouble with ALL or NOTHING when it comes to eating. This is an area I'll continue to address. Please don't private message me to get therapy.  I'm a big girl and know my options and it's not actually THAT bad. I've been bad. Binge eating till I could explode. Purging. It's not at all like that. It's just wanting to eating more veggies. The general stuff any normal adult deals with who isn't a healthy living blogger.

(BTW: That last bit sounds terribly defensive. It's not meant to be. I just share everything. As a result, I've had so many people throughout the years armchair diagnose me or try to force some kind of "you are THIS" on me. I want to go all Jerry Springer and be like "Y'all don't KNOW me" because it's true. If you knew me in real life, you'd know how in-tune I am with myself and my good/bad points. I share mostly to relate, not for critique or whatever else. Right now? I'm watching and drooling over way too much Bon Appetit on YouTube.)

Last, it's "dress like you're 100" for the 100th day of school. I think we nailed it!

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All Aldi // Almond Butter Oat Bars

So, you guys all know my issues with Aldi lately. It's not them, really, it's me. I figured rather than whine about it, I'd start trying to cook more from scratch again -- using all Aldi ingredients. This particular snack is highly adaptable. You can use most any nut butter you like and add in whatever sounds good. It's also kid and toddler approved, hence the llama in my photo.

ALMOND BUTTER OAT BARS

What you'll need . . .

• 2 cups rolled oats
• 1-1/2 cups crispy rice cereal
• 1/3 cup dried cranberries
• 1/2 cup almond butter
• 1/2 cup honey
• 2 tablespoons coconut oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• Salt, for sprinkling

Method . . .

1. Spritz a 9x13 inch pan lightly with oil. Set aside.
2. Melt the almond butter, honey, and coconut oil together on medium heat. Whisk it until smooth and take off heat once incorporated, being careful not to burn the almond butter.
3. Using a spoon or spatula, stir in the oats, cereal, and cranberries. You can also add chocolate chips (they'll melt), pepitas, or anything else that sounds good to you!
4. Spread into your prepared pan, sprinkle with a little salt, and refrigerate until firm. Cut into 16 bars.
5. Alternatively, you can roll loose "dough" into balls for energy chunks.

More Aldi:

Aldi Foods for Picky Toddlers and Kids
$93 Aldi Weekly Grocery Haul
$400 Monthly Food Budget
18 Vegetarian Grocery Staples at Aldi
All Aldi content this way . . . 

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Sharing 20 of YOUR Tips for Healthy Eating

I'm getting a slow start to 2019 with regard to health and fitness goals. And if you've read here for a while, you know that I often struggle with healthy eating (despite loving healthy food!). I get caught up in my hobby of baking and end up in a cycle of homemade sweets, bread, and -- now -- sourdough bread. I don't want to give up on baking entirely, but I do need to find a way to get back to healthier eating. Not so much for the number on the scale . . . but because I just feel so full and sluggish.

Here are the tips you guys sent me yesterday. My criteria was that I don't want to go all or nothing when it comes to food. I don't want to label foods "good" or "bad" . . . and I want to continue doing some of my baking. You guys delivered some great tips, and here are the 20 that were most shared.

Start the day with a huge glass of water

Resist eating sugar -- even fruit sugar -- at breakfast

Read the book Intuitive Eating

Eat way more protein

Skip alcohol for a while

Choose one meal to focus on and go from there

Only bake bread + desserts on weekends

Drink more water throughout the day, especially before meals

Prep meals on weekends for the whole week

Pack lunch the night before to resist daytime snacking

Stop buying all processed foods

Eat meals on smaller plates

Split lunch up to avoid crashing mid-afternoon

Fill half your dinner plate with vegetables

Roast a large pan of veggies and refrigerate for easy grabbing

Stop eating at 7PM and don't eat again till 7AM

Try sweet potatoes + other whole carbs vs. bread

Eat more healthy fats

Choose fruits that are lower glycemic (cherries, apples, etc.)

Even if it's hard, stick with it for 21 days to make a habit

THANK YOU for all your advice. 

If you, too, are struggling, I hope these tips are helpful to you. I'm sure many of you are in the same place I am . . . we KNOW what to do, it's just a matter of actually getting back into the rhythm. I'm going to check back with you all in 21 days to see how things are going. My main goal is to get in more protein, drink WAY more water, and fill most meals with vegetables. 

(But I also hope to expand my sourdough baking skills this month. I'll just try saving that activity for weekends only. Also: Image source.)

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What I HATE About Aldi

I've gone on and on and on about how much I love Aldi. The store has helped to cut our grocery budget overall pretty dramatically. I can still tell a big difference when I decide to shop at Wegmans due to convenience or laziness. But I'm having some new thoughts on the topic I thought were worth sharing. I still love Aldi, but there's one aspect of shopping there that I have grown to hate. It has to do with my own self control BUT Aldi is enabling my behavior!

When I first started shopping at the store, I mostly skipped over the freezer section. I even ignored many packaged foods because they only looked OK. None of it was hugely attractive to me. Slowly a few more prepared items and packaged foods trickled in that were organic and really good looking. And in the last year (or a little longer), the freezer and refrigerated section (CHEESE!) has expanded. The snacked have seen a boost, too. There are now a multitude of interesting vegetarian and vegan options, as well as some more general foods that -- to me -- are just too tasty to pass up.

This, on the whole, is an excellent thing.

BUT: I was never much of a packaged foods shopper. In fact, I used to make much of our food from scratch. Slowly (and because of better affordability compared to other stores), I've put things in my cart. A bag of veggie chips here, a box of root vegetable hash browns there, some interesting sauces, mac-and-cheese thin crust pizzas . . . and then I'd notice "limited time" buys that I just HAD TO HAVE BEFORE THEY WENT AWAY FOR GOOD.

So, I'd stock up.

I also joined some Aldi Facebook groups. There's a cult-like following on there, right? Every time there's a new or exciting product, someone would post about it. Others would quickly chime in about how AMAZING it was. And I'd find myself with tons of new things on my shopping list.

After a while, my stand-up freezer was full. My pantry is teeming with packaged items. I'd stopped making my own hummus. I started buying things I never used to buy in packages (granola bars) because I got so out of the habit of cooking and baking from scratch. And my grocery bill wasn't hugely increased. I mean, it went up -- but because I wasn't making anything on my own, I wasn't buying raw ingredients much.

What was happening? Well, our trash and recycling output has gone up quite a bit. (I'm not zero waste, but I don't like this much waste.) We're not eating as many fruits and veggies as I'd like. My kids are preferring packaged foods to whole foods. I've gained some weight. I increased our weekly grocery budget $25 a week (adds up).

The list goes on . . .

YES. Some convenience foods are a necessary evil for that stage of life I'm in. (I know some people would argue not.) I don't have glorious hours upon hours to spend in the kitchen toiling over homemade crackers. At the same time, my family should really be eating more whole foods. I'll admit that it's a heck of a lot easier to just tell my kids to grab something themselves than to cut veggies and serve it to them.

So, what I hate about Aldi is that I once saved money due to the store being so almost painfully streamlined. I'm now falling into the traps I fell into at other grocery stores because of all the temptations. I am absolutely thrilled that Aldi has so many wonderful and affordable options, especially for vegetarians and vegans, but I now find myself with some work ahead of me to get in better balance.

This all said, I will share some of my favorite foods that I have found with you soon on Instagram. I'm not going to stop buying all the things entirely. But instead of having everything every week, I may treat these items more as treats or weekend special foods. We'll see. 

More Aldi:

Aldi Foods for Picky Toddlers and Kids
$93 Aldi Weekly Grocery Haul
$400 Monthly Food Budget (I want to get back to this!)
18 Vegetarian Grocery Staples at Aldi

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My Self-Care List + 10 year challenge

Back when Eden was clusterfeeding almost always, I felt like I had absolutely zero time to myself. My patience was wearing thin. I was starting to feel absolutely crazy. The advantage I have had this time around was that I truly know the tiny baby stage doesn't last forever. I had a lot of trouble with Ada because she was my first . . . and then with Eloise because I had forgotten so much.

Regardless, I whined a lot on Instagram to pass the time. And some of you guys sent me the sweetest and most helpful messages. One person, in particular, gave me an idea that I have been using ever since. She told me that I needed to make a list of self-care things to do so that when I DID get a spare moment -- I wouldn't use up precious time figuring out what to do with myself (or -- worse -- just mess around on my iPhone).

Her approach is genius. Make a list of things you can do that take, say, an hour. And another list of things that take just 10 or 15 minutes. (Because we know that free time comes at a premium -- and it often is given out in short bursts.) Now that Eden is a bit older and taking bottles, I've also included a few things I do if I get several hours to myself on a weekend.

I thought I'd share my list with you today. To keep it brief, I chose my four favorite things for each category. But before I get to the list, I thought I'd share my 10-year challenge with you. My first photo from Facebook is actually from 13 years ago (!!!) and then 5 minutes ago.

HOUR SELF-CARE

• Long walk -- I consider running (30 minutes or so 5 days a week) just part of life, so it's not self-care.  A long walk can be really restorative. I'll often stop and get a warm drink along the way and listen to an audiobook.
• Long shower (I don't do baths) + play with my stash of bath + beauty products.
• Baking -- Solo time in the kitchen to go at a bread or brownie recipe I've been eyeing.
• Journal -- I have a Breathe planner I bought this year that's more than just simple to-do lists. I like to spend time thinking/writing in there. And -- yes -- it is something I can spend an entire hour doing.

QUICK SELF-CARE

• Shorter shower -- better than no shower...
• Quickie YouTube yoga or barre session
• Quickie YouTube guided meditation (with ear plugs in, if necessary!)
• Light a candle and just sit quietly in a dark room (I'm big on silence -- I crave it)

OTHER SELF-CARE

• Bookstore outing to browse with a warm drink for a couple hours
• Studio yoga class (I've worked this in once a week now) 
• Drink with a few friends after bedtime (I stay local -- 5 minutes away -- in case of random wakeups from any of the kids)
• Longer afternoon out -- either going to lunch and a movie OR recently Stephen encouraged me to take a day trip to visit one of my best friends in Ithaca. (Remember how I love quiet? My favorite part of that trip was the hour drive to/from where I didn't listen to anything but silence!)

I feel fortunate that my husband is so willing to care for all three kids so I can get out. That sounds weird to say because he's just as much a parent as I am. But I think you know what I mean. We trade off so that we each get time on our own (and it isn't always easy with three different sets of needs to care for), but he's been prioritizing my time in these early months. It doesn't go unnoticed. 

It's also been very helpful that we started bottles just before six weeks. I waited longer with the other two and they never really took to them. If I could go back and do one thing differently from the start of becoming a mom, it would be to do bottles sooner.

Anyway, I'd love to hear what your favorite self-care activities are. 

Share them in the comments!

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More Major Parenting Decisions, Explained

You guys really liked when I shared about the reasoning behind some of our most important parenting decisions. So, here's more major decisions and why we've gone the way we've gone. Again -- this is what WE do, not what I think YOU should do. There's no judgement here, so I hope you'll extend the same courtesy to me and my family.

I gave birth without pain medication three times.

But I elected to induce my last baby, so I'm definitely not sharing this as a holier-than-thou kind of thing. It's simply a fact. And I didn't do it out of the purest of intentions either. It was more selfish than anything else. I'm scared of needles and definitely scared of a needle in my spine. I don't like the idea of being numb. It actually freaks me out just thinking about it. I would also say that -- on the whole -- my labors were pretty short. I was pumped full of pitocin the last two times, making the contractions much more intense, but I would rather deal with that over and over and over again than get a needle in my spine.

Maybe that's weird, but knowing what to expect now . . . when the pain got so bad that I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, that typically meant it was almost over (except with Ada. Then it meant I had two more hours until she was out!)

We don't push tons of extracurriculars

I shared in my last post that we're pretty hands-off when it comes to academics in our house. The same goes for extracurricular activities. I have friends and acquaintances who put their kids in EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. They're driving here, there, and everywhere. I both admire and pity them. Basically, I was involved in things as a child -- but not as a young child. My rule is one big activity at a time. If there are other things, they have to fit into the day and be really cheap.

Right now this means that Ada takes a gymnastics class on Saturday mornings. She's also in a school choir that is very inexpensive ($40 for 8 weeks) and meets at the school at the end of the school day. I decided instead of paying money for piano lessons that I'd try teaching her the fundamentals (and it's going well -- we just do it whenever we have a spare 20 minutes). Otherwise, we might do one-off classes . . . but generally, we are living the "slow life" in this respect.

I do combination feeding

Eden gets two bottles of formula each day, so I am no longer exclusively breastfeeding. We are combination feeding, and it's going great. When I shared my struggles with breastfeeding (I have a great supply . . . but mentally, I don't like being tethered to my baby 24/7), I got many well-meaning comments about how I should pump instead of offering formula. I hate pumping more than I hate breastfeeding.

I've finally learned by my second, but especially by my third baby that formula isn't some fluid sent to earth from Satan. In fact, Eden is doing great, and I love giving her bottles. Especially now that she's in the super distracted nursing phase -- with a bottle, she's all business.

We vaccinate

My kids get all their vaccinations on the standard schedule -- no questions. I haven't even done any research in this area because I trust my doctor and my life experience. For example, when Ada was in the pediatric intensive care unit, there was a boy in the next room dying of a preventable disease because he didn't get vaccinations. It was a huge eye-opener, and something that many anti-vax people don't actually see.

I don't love babywearing

OK. That's not entirely true. I do love it when we go out for the rare day. The snuggles can be amazing. But for me, babywearing isn't a way of life. I don't lust over Tula prints or tie fancy wraps (because I'm terrible at it -- I've tried!). I see women conquering the world wearing their babies, and I'm partially jealous. But I also love putting my baby to sleep in her nursery for her naps. So much as I have tried, I cannot get comfortable just wearing my kid all day during all activities. It's claustrophobic for me. I'd rather just wait to do what I need to do until I can do it quickly on my own.

This is one area where I feel like I WISH I was a different person, a different mom, but I'm just not into most attachment parenting things (and before I became a mom -- I was going to be THE attachment parent).

I don't do essential oils on my kids

Inevitably I run across EO conversations each and every day, especially in parenting groups. Jimmy has an ear infection? Try this essential oil in his ear! Sally has a chest cold? Diffuse this essential oil to clear her breathing! I know these people are trying to do what is best for their kids, but I feel like there's a lot of misinformation out there (on both sides) related to EOs. The safety for children hasn't been demonstrated in research enough for me to want to slather it onto my kids. I save essential oils for personal sniffing and for cleaning supplies. Maybe I'm ignorant, but I'm OK with that.

Want more parenting talk? Check out these posts:

My parenting strengths and weaknesses
My major parenting decisions, explained
Thoughts on picky toddler eating
Instant gratification + parenting
3 years staying home with my kids // thoughts

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Parenting Strengths and Weaknesses

In my own life, I've been trying to examine my strengths and weaknesses as a parent. One reason is that I want to work on myself for the sake of my kids. Yelling all the time isn't something I imagine they want to grow up hearing. On the other hand, I also need to give myself more credit for the things I DO do well, because I'm not the type of person who tends to think positively with self-talk (and that needs to change).

I'm good at getting my kids to sleep. 

Some kids just don't sleep -- and I get that. But I will say that I've had three different kids now . . . and though keeping a consistent schedule and working on sleep issues as they arise, I've been able to get them napping well and sleeping through the night a good portion of the time. (I'm probably jinxing myself!) Of course, there are periods, like teething and developmental leaps, when things go crazy. However, this area has often involved sacrifice and a lot of work on my part, so I consider it something to be proud of and to give myself some kudos for.

I could work on kinder discipline. 

Because I yell -- a lot. I even swear. Are you shocked? Maybe, maybe not. But Ada's at an age now where she'll certainly remember all the yelling and four-letter words (I'm so embarrassed sharing that!). The thing is, I know yelling doesn't really work. I'm dipping my toes into a few parenting books right now and finding out just how ineffective it is. So, yeah.

I'm good at engaging interests and providing activities. 

I'm not a Pinterest mom, but I make sure my kids are exposed to areas that interest them and find ways -- sometimes creative ways -- to provide those activities. For example, Ada wanted to do a sport this fall, but we were short on time and money. I searched around and found a running program that was essentially free on weekends when we had the time to take her. Otherwise, I hunt around for deals on gymnastics leotards and utilize inexpensive school activities rather than signing her up for all the $$$ stuff. With Eloise, I hunt thrift shops to find fun things for her to do at home and -- yes -- I sometimes do take the time to get creative.

I could work on my level of patience. 

I suppose this goes with the yelling. I can go 0 to 60 very quickly when I get miffed. It's as if I have no mental stamina. So, I need my own patience for better discipline and also in times when my kids are possibly TRYING to do good stuff, but just don't have the ability or desire to to it quickly enough for my liking.

I'm good at consistency. 

Maybe this goes along with sleep, but in all areas of life . . . I'm pretty darned consistent. Our family has a predictable schedule. Or if I'm being gosh-gee-golly blogger mom here, we have a rhythm. It changes seasonally and depends on our schedule. However, my kids generally know what to expect at different points of the day, and I think that helps them. I know for sure it helps Eloise because she goes from one activity to the next in life without tantrums (trust me -- she does have them, though! Just not regularly).

I could work on food. 

I know. You may be surprised to read that food is a shortcoming of mine when it comes to my kids. I've gotten quite lazy in the past year, buying lots of packaged snacks and generally not providing much variety of foods. I tried much harder with Ada, but the demands of life have sucked the energy I have had for this area. Last night I took the time to make some granola bars. It's a small step, but it is good to be moving in the right direction. Now, I'm not saying all packaged food is the devil. It's just when your 2-year-old heads to the pantry and crinkles all the wrappers searching to "dinder" because she'd rather have junk food . . . that's when it's a problem.

These are just a few thoughts for today. I think it would be fun to check in again in the future with some more strengths and weaknesses. I'm giving myself some grace here. I'm not going to be the old Ashley and set out and outline for exactly how I'm going to change all these "bad" things about myself. This post was just a mental exercise for me. Maybe you'll feel inspired to do it for yourself as well!

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OUR FAVORITE TOYS

I feel like we've had almost every toy out there in our house. By now, I have a good handle on what my kids play with time and time again. And those loved toys may not be the ones you'd most expect. Anyway, I get a lot of questions about what toys our kids have + play with most, so I figured I'd compile a page of our favorite toys, etc. I'll try to update this from time to time as we edit our own collection.

Note: We own all of these toys and have purchased them with our own money.




* These are Amazon affiliate links, so I do receive a (very) small percentage of any sales. Thank you for supporting (never)homemaker and making my content possible!

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